Planning Your Wedding Part 1: The Basics

"Planning Your Wedding Part 1: The Basics"

BY DJ Tommy Mac

So you've decided to get married! Congratulations!
By now you're starting to realize just how much planning and organization it takes to make a wedding day run smoothly, and are looking for some ideas and tips on the best ways to do things...that's why I'm here, to help you out.
Most wedding receptions today follow a pretty basic format, and while the order of certain events can vary from party to party, the general outline of events for the reception is as follows:
first hour: Cocktails - guests are just arriving, settling in, and helping themselves to some food and drinks. The Bride & Groom (along with the bridal party) may be there at that point, or may be off doing pictures somewhere and arrive later.
Once the bridal party has arrived and cocktails are over, what happens next?
The basic outline is:
Bridal party introductions
Bride & Grooms First Dance
Bridal party dance (optional)
Blessing of the meal (optional)
Toasts (optional)
dinner hour
At most reception halls I work at in this area, the caterers prefer the DJ's NOT to play dance music during the dinner service, as they wish the guests to remain more or less seated for easier service. There have been cases where there are longer gaps in time between courses and I have been asked to dance the guests for short spurts in between but this is usually a rare case. (Me personally I like to play Classics depending on your type of music you like; to keep guests heads bobbing, feet tapping, sing a long & a few may dance) I've noticed every crowd is different, some will dance during dinner & most wait til after cake cutting.
If there are 3 courses, i.e. Soup, Salad & Entree. I will do Parent dances ((Bride with father, Groom with mother) in between Salad & Entree. Approx hour after Bride & Groom receive their entree than:
Bouquet & Garter Toss (optional)
Cutting the Cake
The timing of these events varies from wedding to wedding, depending on both the timeline of the reception hall and the bride & grooms wishes. Your DJ can also help to coordinate all these events to make the day run smoothly, and in future posts I will go into greater detail with suggestions for the best ways to organize these events, as well as several different options and variations.
There will also need to be time set aside for the bride, groom, and family members to have pictures taken together. Make sure your photographer & DJ work together so that things don't get confused. For example, you don't want your DJ starting the cake cutting if the photographer is out in the lobby taking family portraits. A good DJ will always make sure the bride, groom, photographer, videographer and banquet manager are all prepared before starting any major event. Coordinating all these various events is a team effort and all contractors you hire should be willing to work with the others so that YOU don't have to worry about things the day of. If everyone is working together as a team and have coordinated their timelines beforehand, everything should run smoothly. I am not just your DJ....I'm your MC & Time Keeper (so you can let those of you with wedding coordinators, I got this :)
Keep in mind, there are no hard, fast RULES to what you must do at your wedding reception; some people enjoy things like the garter & bouquet toss, others feel that is not important to them and would rather skip it...the choice is up to YOU.
Some couples like to plan other special events for their reception, such as slide shows, or hire another entertainer, such as dancers, to perform at some point in the evening. Others have a family member or friend who they have asked to perform a live song for the bride & groom, either by playing live with an instrument or singing along to a musical track provided to the DJ.
While these things can be fun and add a special touch to your wedding day, keep in mind they need to be planned out accordingly at the proper times to make the day flow easily. Again, talking these things over in ADVANCE with your DJ, along with your banquet manager, will help things run smoothly.
In future posts, I will go into greater details on each of the special events of a wedding reception to give you a clearer understanding of why they are done and the best times to do them... or if you choose to do them at all.

The Anniversary Dance or Multiplication Dance

The Anniversary Dance

The Anniversary Dance is another great way to bring people to an empty dance floor. The Anniversary Dance can be done in many ways here is one:

1 - Starting with the longest married couples and working
your way down to the bride and groom.
2 - Starting with ALL the married couples on the dance floor
and working your way down to the longest married couple 

(typically done in place of the "Garter & Bouquet").

I will typically do this before dinner
as a way to open / start my second set of then night if...
- The first set didn't bring many people to the dance floor
for whatever reason
- The bride and groom are looking for me to be very
involved, a lot activities, very lively, etc.
- The party / people need a good kick-start to get going
However, I will use this instead of the "WAFD" if... 
- The crowd is on the older side
- There appears to be a significant amount of older married
couples
- The bride and groom are a fun couple, but not exactly
comfortable with a "fast dance" in front of all their guests
- A fast song might be too much for the guests right away -
I don't want to scare them away
- There are some family "situations" that make the
"WAFD" un-doable.
I will NOT do the "Anniversary Dance"
- If I'm aware of an older relative recently passing away
(could be uncomfortable)
- The bride and groom already want me to dedicate a song to
their Parents, Grandparents, Aunt & Uncle etc for their
Anniversary (it would be
repetitious)

Once I've decided I'm going to do the dance, I have to set
it up properly for it to be successful and the set up is basically the same as
the other two. The first thing I do is walk over to the B&G and let
them know that in 5 minutes / after this next song etc., that I will be doing
an activity to get things moving / people up and dancing. I do this to make
sure they stay in the room as they are the last and most important piece to the
activity. (nothing worse than inviting the B&G to the dance floor and
someone yelling out "The Bride is in the bathroom")

Next I walk out to the dance floor, and ask for everyone's
attention (it's very important to get everyone's attention for this activity,
because the instructions are very important and if you are unable to properly
convey those instructions to MOST of the guests, you could be setting yourself
up for trouble, as no one will know what's going on.) Once I have their
attention, here's my stuff...

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the next dance we'll be doing is called the
Anniversary Dance and it's a very simple thing to do. As soon as I start
playing the next song, I would like all of the couples that have been married
for ***50 YEARS or more, to please make their way to the dance floor.
After which, I will then invite all of those couples married ***40 Years or
more out to the dance floor, and so on until we have all of the married couples
here tonight out on the dance floor. So once again, when I start playing the
next song I NEED ALL the couples married 50 YEARS or more to make their way to
the dance floor."

Once I have made my way back to my equipment. I
start the song and once again announce "Will all those couples
married 50 YEARS or more please make your way to the dance floor." It
is at this point you wait and see what happens. First off, if a couple
has been married for 50 years they're probably old and slow, so give them time
to get to the dance floor before moving on to the the next group (40 years).
Secondly, if you only get a few couples to come to the dance floor, it's time
to lay a little of your showmanship on the crowd and create one of those
moments that separate you from the average DJ. If I get 5 couples or less
out to the dance floor, I once again take mic in hand and make my way to the
floor. I walk over to one of the couples, politely lean in and ask them (off
the mic) "how long have you been married?". I then get on the mic and
announce "Ladies and Gentlemen ...54 years, how about a nice round
of applause." I then do this for every other couple on the dance
floor (hopefully picking the longest married couple last). By doing this little
bit of showmanship you are
1 - Creating a very special moment
2 - Honoring some special people (typically the B&Gs
parents, grandparents etc.)
3 - Grabbing everyone's attention and guaranteeing that the
rest of the married couples will participate
4 - Showcasing your talent (trust me, if done right, they'll
know who you are)

Once done with this step, I move off the floor back to my
equipment and announce "And now L&G all of the couples
married 40 years or more, please make your way to the dance floor" and
so on until you have everyone on the floor. Here's the order in which I proceed
1 - 50 years or more
2 - 40 years or more
3 - 30 years or more
4 - 20 years or more
5 - 10 years or more
6 - 5 years or more
7 - more than 1 year
8 - more than a day
9 - "all those couples married today,
please make your way to the dance floor" (obviously the B&G,
and usually 
accompanied by a round
of applause without asking)
10 - "and last but not least all of those couples
who feel like they're married, are fooling around, can't stand each

other" etc (pick one or make up your own little funny punch line)

Once the song is over, I kick into one of the classic
wedding dance songs, because you have old and young people on the dance
floor and you want to keep them there.

Some quick little notes and thoughts about the
song and starting point. I always use the 5 minute version of "Always and
Forever" for my Anniversary Dance or "Through The Years", because the songs are classic known by
young and old alike and I need a good 5 minutes to pull this off properly.
While the song you choose is not as important, the length is. You cannot do
this properly in 3 1/2 minutes, especially if you do the part where you walk
out to the dance floor and honor the first few couples on the floor. As for the
starting point I used "50 Years" as an example, but I have started as
low as "30 Years", it all depends on the crowd. Before you start,
take a look around the room, if it doesn't look like anyone there has been
married for 50 years, back up a little. Better to be safe than start your dance
with nobody moving.

Make it your own and make it work. The B&G will be happy, the guests
will be impressed and everybody will be dancing. And what did you do? Nothing
more than take the initiative and play a song.

Why the DJ Hates you!

Thanks to The DJ Gospel for this cool list.

100 Reasons the DJ hates you.....


1. The song you are requesting is being played.
2. You ask for a song that nobody will dance to.
3. You tell the DJ he sucks just because he won't play your song.
4. The only songs you know are line dances.
5. You want to hear every song by Britney Spears and Lady Gaga.
6. You complain that no one likes the song when the dance floor is full.
7. You think reserving a table turns the DJ into your own jukebox.
8. You ask to sing on the microphone like it's karaoke night.
9. You want to hear your song next or your leaving.
10. You declare that you just got to the club so the DJ should play all the hits just for you.
11. Your sad face does not move the DJ into feeling sorry for you and playing your request.
12. You have no concept that the DJ accepts tips.
13. You come to the booth and ask the DJ if he is the DJ.
14. You ask the DJ if he plays any good music.
15. Your requests aren't any where near the format the DJ plays.
16. You demand to hear your song because you are about to leave.
17. When we say we dont play a genre, you ask for more of that genre.
18. You keep asking what song is next.
19. You want to look at every song we have.
20. You don't dance to your request, then ask for more.
21. You think the dance floor is a portrait studio.
22. You make silly poses at the DJ like you are DJing.
23. You are part of a bachelorette party.
24. You grab or touch equipment while the DJ is playing.
25. You are so drunk you think the DJ booth is the bar.
26. You stay buy the DJ booth hoping to pick up women.
27. You keep trying to tell the DJ your life story while we are mixing.
28. You think you know what everyone wants to hear.
29. You ask for a song to be played again 5 minutes after hearing it.
30. You say you know the owner/manager in an attempt to get a song played.
31. You ask for the same song everytime you are there.
32. You take pictures of the DJ without warning him of the flash.
33. Your so drunk you keep falling into the DJ booth.
34. You spill a drink on the DJ equipment.
35. You ask that the volume be turned down.
36. You keep trying to get the DJ to dance with you.
37. You tell the DJ what songs go together that don't go together.
38. You stand by the DJ and stare awkwardly.
39. You think it's cool to just stand on the dancefloor and text.
40. You have to talk louder than the music by the DJ booth.
41. You think the DJ booth is a coat check.
42. You offer to tip but never do.
43. You run ladies off the dance floor.
44. You wear so much cologne/perfume the DJ's eyes water.
45. You ask us to play songs off your phone or download them.
46. You keep asking for a shout out all night long.
47. You want us to play a song you made.
48. You act like the DJ is your boyfriend when he is not.
49. You try to sing or hum the song you want to hear.
50. Instead of asking for a song you stick a phone in our face to show us.
51. You don't know the song just the number on the CD.
52. You get all of your friends to ask for the same song that we won't play.
53. You interrupt the DJ to get him to take your picture.
54. Your idea of good music isn't.
55. You think old school means 5 year ago.
56. You ask when do we start to playing something crunk.
57. When you hear a slow jam you think it's a signal to hump women like a dog.
58. If it isn't hip hop you just call it techno.
59. You keep asking for requests after the club closes.
60. You know the DJ and text him requests to get you in the door.
61. You know the DJ is working and you call over and over expecting an answer.
62. You ask for a song and stay at the booth until the DJ plays it.
63. You fart by the DJ booth.
64. You want something faster but are requesting something slower.
65. You keep trying to fist bump and high five the DJ.
66. You say the other DJ always plays your song when there is no other DJ.
67. You act worse than a 5 year old in the club.
68. You say you are spending a ton of money and we should play your songs regardless.
69. You want an in-depth explanation on how the equipment works.
70. Your requests are more like demands.
71. You vomit in or around the DJ booth.
72. You tell the DJ how bad the song playing is , then request an even worse one.
73. You ask the DJ to play something with a beat.
74. You threaten to get the manager to make you play a song.
75. Your song was played but you want it again because you were in the bathroom.
76. You think booty shaking music is just any hip hop song.
77. You make up a birthday so you can hear you or your friends name on the mic.
78. You give the DJ a napkin filled with requests and no tip.
79. You complain that the DJ DID play your song.
80. You hug and kiss the DJ and leave with some other guy.
81. You think after a DJ plays your song that he will play every song you want.
82. You ask for a song all night then you leave in the middle of it.
83. You want people to move off the floor so you can dance like a jackass.
84. You ask the DJ to hand out flyers to another club.
85. You tell the DJ his job is becoming obsolete because of ipods.
86. You tell the DJ that they quit making vinyl and his job will vanish.
87. You say you have a huge group there wanting a song when you only have 3 people.
88. You tell the DJ that you DJ too, when we ask where, you say your bedroom.
89. When you ask the DJ if he takes requests, then you have no clue what you want.
90. You run around the club telling people you are the DJ.
91. You think knowing the DJ is sure to get songs played for people you know.
92. You think dry humping the DJ is sexy.
93. You keep asking if you can try and spin.
94. You keep stomping on the floor just to get attention.
95. You still think it's cool to use your phone on the dance floor.
96. You spend more time updating your status online than dancing.
97. You ask the DJ to play something dirty.
98. You ask the DJ to play something you can dance to.
99. You throw up gang signs having no idea what they mean.
100. You are way too drunk.

Please reply and add more so we can make this list reach 200 or more!

What are some important question to ask your client you might have forgotten?

What are some important question to ask your client you might have forgotten?

What are some important questions to ask your client that you might have forgotten?
Here are just a few, please ad more to the replys below:

Are the centerpieces being given away?

What is your introduction music?

Are there disposable cameras on each table?

What time is Video and/or Photo Done?

What time do you have the hall to?

Are there any special announcements, Birthdays, or Anniversaries?

Is There Anything I missed?