Are Bar/Bat Mitzvahs really that tough?

Are Bar/Bat Mitzvahs really that tough?

Many disc jockeys think that a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a tougher gig than a wedding. Why is this you might ask? I thought long and hard about this and I have come up with a couple theories.

First, what makes these parties difficult is not the candle lighting ceremony or cavalcade of kiddy activities, but rather the idea you may be fighting an inflated expectation. It's not uncommon for a Bar Mitzvah mom to spend years planning for this day.Why, was that matter, some moms, it seems, set thinking of a theme and color scheme in the Maternity Ward 13 years before. If you're playing that party over and over in your head for years, your mind’s eye will turn any party into something unbelievably outrageous and to DJ, unbelievably unobtainable.

Secondly, chances are the girl or boy celebrating this special day may have just attended 10 Other Bar/Bat Mitzvahs recently, with entertainment ranging from $4,000 Orchestras to a $2,000 disc jockey company, complete with 2 DJs, 6 dancers, 3 roadies, $10,000 in lighting, $300 in hawaiian leis, glow sticks and blow up instruments. And here you are with your microphone and a couple of Lights ready to do battle! But it can be done. Here's how.

Forget about the unavoidable DJ comparisons, inflated expectations, and even the fact your client may have shelled out as much as $30,000 for this day. Undo pressure on yourself won't help. Turn that anxiety into confidence. Walk into that party ready to give your best performance, regardless of the hurdles.

Know your stuff! While most Bar/Bat Mitzvahs will require the blessing (Motzi), some may not include the introduction of the parents and candle lighting ceremony. Here's what you need to know:

INTRODUCTIONS: Usually after cocktail hour, and before the blessing, the disc jockey will introduce the parents and the Bar/Bat Mitzvah into the room just like you would for the bridal party introductions. Sometimes the brothers and sisters, and even grandparents, will be asked to be included in the introductions.

BLESSING (MOTZI) (pronounced Ha-Moat-sea): Usually done by either the boy's grandfather or rabbi, it is traditionally done at the beginning of the party when everyone is seated. The DJ is usually required to get everyone's attention and introduce whoever is to perform the blessing.

CANDLE LIGHTING CEREMONY: Usually happens right after the blessing, but can take place after dinner. Your best bet is to check with your client. The ceremony requires members of the boy's family, such as grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins, as well as close friends light one of 12 candles on the cake. The 13th and 14th candle or designated for the boy's parents and the Bar/Bat Mitzvah themself. Each candle can be lit by one, two, and even a whole group of people. Most light one candle. Other than the 13th and 14th candle, it's generally thought the order represent ascending order of closeness to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Friends of the family, aunts and uncles, are generally the first to light candles, while grandparents, brothers, sisters, and best friends until the end. Background music can be a constant Loop of Hava Nagila, a mixture of We are family, through the years, and that's what friends are for, or even playing of a specific song For each lit candle. Check with your client with their preference.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Since this is an event celebrating the boy or girl's 13th birthday, candle lighting ceremony is usually followed up with a chorus of Happy Birthday or happy Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Once that is done having blow out the candles. if the child's birthday was months back you may not want to sing Happy Birthday, so please check with your client.

OPENING HORA: Right after Happy Birthday have everyone come to the dance floor in a circle with the Bar/Bat Mitzvah in the middle. Have the Bar/Bat Mitzvah take a seat and a chair and have four to five strong people lift them in the air while you play Hava Nagila.

PARENT DANCE: The Bar/Bat Mitzvah child may want to dance with their mother or father. A good traditional song would be “Sunrise Sunset”.

That's it! Now your client may delete some formalities, rearrange the order, or even decide to spread things out, but rest assured, there are no other formalities. Once you've gotten through the formalities, the party turns into a mixture of an 8th grade dance and a wedding reception; Lots of music and activities for the kids, mixed in with some music for the adults. Activities such as Coke and Pepsi, a Freeze Dance, Limbo, chicken dance, and line dances are proven winners at a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

Remember, your great personality can make up for a lot of those frills offered by other Bar/Bat Mitzvah DJs. By familiarizing yourself with the simple formalities, and by understanding what your client is expecting of you, can turn yourself into a great Bar/Bat Mitzvah DJ.

Please visit our Website for information on DJ Classes in-person or on line at http://www.djentertainmentschool.com

How to do a Bar/Bat Mitzvah

HOW TO DO A BAR/BAT MITZVAH

Bar/Bat Mitzvahs are probably the easiest parties to perform at. Some of these parties can be more expensive than some weddings, but don’t let that bother you. Be ready to give your best (just like you do at all your parties). Bar Mitzvah (BOY) or Bat Mitzvah (GIRL) signifies at age 13 (Usually) that this boy/girl is passing from childhood to adulthood. In some cases your client might NOT want some or all of the Traditional activities associated with a Bar/Bat Mitzvah done at their affair, so it is good to ask them first what they want. If you are really lucky it will be just a party or record hop. It is really important that when you talk to your client that you know what you are talking about. So here is what you need to know.

Introductions: Usually after the cocktail hour, and before the blessing. The DJ Will introduce The Parents and the Bar/Bat Mitzvahs brothers and sisters (if any) and then The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Themselves. Sometimes Grandparents can be included too.

Blessing: The Blessing of bread. Motzi (Pronounced: HA-Moat-sea) and wine Kiddish (Pronounced: Kid-ish). The Blessing of the bread & wine is always combined & called just MOTZI. This blessing is usually done by the child’s Father, Grandfather, or Rabbi. Traditionally done after the introductions and before the dinner. It is the DJs job to get everyone’s attention for the blessing.

Toast: The toast is usually given by the Host (Father). It welcomes & thanks everyone for coming to the event. It is a good idea to remind the client of this on your client call. Traditionally done right after the Blessing.

Candle lighting Ceremony: Usually happens right after the toast but can take place after dinner. In some cases the DJ does the announcing in others the child calls up the people. The ceremony requires members of the child’s family & close friends, light 1 to 11 candles on the cake. The 12th & 13th candles are reserved for the child’s parents & peace or those who could not be here (deceased). Each candle can be lit by 1 person or a group of people. The order should be ascending representing the closeness to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. For example friends of the family & aunts and uncles are generally first to light the candles while grandparents, brothers, sisters & best friends wait till the end. Background music for the ceremony can include a long up-beat instrumental or even the traditional candle lighting medley, or sometimes you must use a song for each candle. It would be a good idea to create a CD of these songs in order. After all the candles have been lit, Dim the lights & sing Happy Bar or Bat Mitzvah just like happy birthday but change the words. Then have the child blow out the Candles. Now is an Excellent time to start a HORA (Hava-Nagila) to get the crowd up & dancing. During this time you can call 4 strong men to help lift the child on a chair and parade them around the dance floor.

Parent Dance: The child might want to dance with their mother or father. Either they will pick a song or have you suggest one. Sunrise sunset from fiddler on the roof is a great Jewish father daughter dance, and for the mother son you could suggest Bette Middler’s Wind Beneath My Wings.

That’s it! Now when you talk to your client it may not all go this way but if they ask you, you now know the order! Once these formalities are over the party turns into a mixture of a 8th grade dance & a Wedding. Lots of music & ACTIVITIES for the KIDS as well as Music & Activities for the Adults are a great plan of attack. Activities such as Huggie Bear, Coke & Pepsi, Limbo, Air Band, & Twist Contest, you can even do Vinnies famous MUMMY WRAP! Dances like the Cha Cha slide & even the Electric slide work well too. Make sure YOU DO A LOT OF STUFF, unless your client says NO. Make sure your great personality shines and all will go well!

CANDLE LIGHTING CEREMONY GUIDE

MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE,…….WILL EVERYONE PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS.

GOOD (AFTERNOON/EVENING) LADIES & GENTLEMEN, MY NAME IS ___________________

FROM THE PROS & ON BEHALF OF ___________ & ___________ I’D LIKE TO WELCOME YOU
MOTHER FATHER
TO__________________
NAME OF HALL

AT THIS TIME IT GIVES ME GREAT PLEASURE TO INTRODUCE OUR HOST & HOSTESS

______________ & _______________________ AND NOW OUR (Bar/Bat) MITZVAHS
MOTHER FATHER

BROTHERS & SISTERS _________________________________________________

Have everyone stand………….

NOW LADIES & GENTLEMEN LETS HEAR IT FOR OUR (Bar/Bat) mitzvah___________________

Have the entire family stand behind the cake. Arrange beforehand with the Photographer the best place to stand.
Write down the number of candles for the next section.

You may be seated…….. AT THIS TIME I’D LIKE TO INTRODUCE SOME VERY SPECIAL

PEOPLE TO LIGHT CANDLED IN HONOR OF OUR (BAR/BAT) MITZVFA. WHEN I CALL YOUR

NAME PLEASE COME UP AND LIGHT A CANDLE.

Suggested order of candle lighting follows. Fill in the Blanks. Some adaptation may need to be made. When introducing people say:”I’d like to call up…..or let’s have a nice hand for…or mat I introduce to you……

Maternal Grandparents __________________________________________________

Paternal Grandparents ___________________________________________________

Great grandparents ______________________________________________________

Great Aunts & Uncles ________________________________________________


Aunts & Uncles _________________________________________________________



Cousins ________________________________________________________________


Other Relatives __________________________________________________________


Family or Parent’s Friends __________________________________________________


Bar/Bat Mitzvah’s Friends __________________________________________________


Brothers & Sisters _________________________________________________________


Mother & Father __________________________________________________________

(optional) and now to light a candle in honor & memory of those who could not be with us today. (Turn down music a bit or play a special song)

AND NOW TO LIGHT A FINAL CANDLE _____________________________________________

At this point dim the lights sing happy Bar/Bat mitzvah have the child make a wish and then blow out the candles. Now is a GREAT time for a HORA (Hava-Nagila).

Any questions just place a question or comment here.