What’s your number?

What’s your number?

Students in Junior High School are the biggest Geeks in the world. They're just starting to notice the opposite sex. But they don't know how to act. The girls stand in cliques, and the guys fart and throw things at the DJ. These guys are four years away from their sexual peak. So, they're horny, too.

And it is this horniness that drives them to the cliques. But the cliques won't accept them. They're tight and intimidating. When a guy approaches one to ask a girl to dance, the other girls giggle. The guy doesn't even wait for the response; He feels rejected and leaves. The girl doesn't feel badly, though. She's still with friends. But the guys alone; his ego, bruised. He quickly realizes that the humiliation of rejection outweighs the pleasure of a dance. So, in junior high school, the guy has to have either a lot of courage or a callousness to humiliation to approach a girl.

Here lies a paradox of adolescence. Girls act like they don't want to be asked to dance, but they really do. In fact, they'd rather reject a dork and not get asked at all. That's because a girl who doesn't get asked is perceived ugly. It's another example for the adage that kids are cruel. They pick on one another for names, stupidity, and incoordination. But the worst is when they pick one one another for looks. A guy who gets rejected is perceived ugly, a girl who doesn't get asked is perceived ugly. No guy wants to be ugly. So, instead of getting rejected and finding out he is, he just doesn't ask anyone to dance. The girls, then, are the ugly ones.

None of this would happen if the guys had suaveness. But they don't get it in junior high school. They don't understand the open-ended question. They go right up to the girls and ask them if they want to dance. It’s easy for the girls to say “No”. So, that's what they say. It gives them superiority over men. A girl won't dance with a guy unless she wants him. She'll reject everyone until that guy asks her. If he doesn't, she's still satisfied. She got asked and that makes her beautiful.

When you consider the Paradox and the guys lack of suaveness, you understand why guys room one side and girls stand in the cliques on the other side at a junior high school dance. Eventually, the girls get bored and start making requests and dancing, and the guys start congregating and bothering the DJ. The DJ must maintain control. And the best way to do it is to get the guys and girls to mingle. Of course, the DJ has to overcome the social inadequacies of the adolescents. The DJ has to teach the guys to ask open-ended questions.

Before the dance, count out 50 business cards and number them 1 through 50 in blue or black Ink. Count out another 50 and number them 1 through 50 in Red ink. Give both sets to the people at the door of the dance and tell them to give a blue or black card to each one of the first 50 guys and a red card to each one of the first 50 girls.

At the beginning of the dance, you'll see the guys go to one side and the girls go to the other side. Shortly after your opening, tell the students to look at their cards. The guys have 50 cards in blue or black, and the girls have 50 cards in red. The first guy and girl to find one another with the same number each win a prize. And then, play a slow song. The result is amazing. The guys run up to the girls and ask “What's your number?” The first couple to produce the same one wins the prizes and gets invited start the slow dancing. All other couples with the same number should also dance. Tell everyone to hold onto their cards. They never know when they'll need them again.

This activity presents three benefits. First, guys and girls will continue to ask one another for numbers, thinking the DJ's going to give away more prizes. If a guy and girl don't have matching numbers, this question might get them talking and eventually, dancing. Second, the students will put the cards in their clothes, forget about them, and then their mothers will find them when they do the laundry. This may lead to referrals. And third, you're preparing the students for their future. At this dance, they're asking for numbers for prizes. In high school they'll ask one another four numbers for dates.